Currently working as an automation engineer and a developer in Verscend Technologies, Hattisar Nepal, I am a computer engineer graduate with more than 4 Years of experience in programming and 2 years of experience in automation. I am also a blogger. In my free time i go swimming, futsal, I go dancing classes. I also love travelling.
To know More about me please connect to me through my email or linkedin.
Insight through Words Your words can reckon and empathize your true emotions/ feelings / inner soul that is what i Believe.
by Kushma Thapa on 13th February 2018 at 5:18 pm
Hush hushDon’t talk. People judge you.Hush hush Don’t share people talk you.And hush hushDon’t open, people operate on youAnd hush hushDon’t blog, people read youHush hushCover up, opinions are aiming youHush hushHide under, bullets come to youAnd hush hushRun, they all chase youAnd hush hushKeep quiet, they might hear youThe decisions are made,Your life is planned,22 to get a degree,A child before 30Hush Hush,Who are they decideLive your life by your wish© Copyrights Kushma Thapa 2016 […]
Hollow Emotion Part 2
by Kushma Thapa on 9th February 2018 at 3:57 pm
Maria walks into the class room. Its empty. The windows are open and the wind is blowing. The soft breeze whispers in her hair "You are hollow". A slight tear drops down through her eyes. I am hollow. She repeats on her mind. She recalls her conversation with Bonny.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Maria: I am sorry, but I don't feel that way about you. May be not a million times but I have said it enough times why don't you understand?Bonny: Because I like you and I cannot stop myself from caring about you. I feel like we have this connection. I have this hope I want to hold onto. May be if I could show you my heart then you could see that I am mad about you. I have tried to stop caring and just move on. But, every time I do, I fall for you harder.Maria feels sad as she recalls this conversation. She has told Bonny she has no romantic feelings. Somehow, Bonny does not accept it. Bonny is hoping they have a chance of having a happy ending.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------All she wants is a company of a true friend. A friend who does not bitch about you behind your back. A friend who cares about you because they just do. A friend who is not expecting any romantic endeavours from you. A friend who is there just to be your friend. She just wants someone to come into her life to stay. To stay in her good times and her bad ones. To stay so they can laugh about the old days in old years.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I care about you. As a friend, I care about you. I want you to stay. As a friend, I want you to stay. I am sorry I am too friendly for my own good. May be my nature presents myself as interested. How wrong but that is. I am not doing fine.With this thoughts on her mind, she stops abruptly. Abruptly because she sees some eyes staring into her mind. Like someone is reading through her lines. She stops. No she cannot explain. No, nobody understands. Its tragic to be in a one sided love. Its even more tragic at times to be on the other side of the story of one sided love. You care about them, and you know they wont stay. You cannot ask them to stay cause that would be too selfish. You don't feel a thing because you are hollow. Nothing romantic on your side. And you are sad to realise may be you are loosing someone that really cared for you.But stop. Please stop. This is a one way traffic. Its a single handshaking. Its apple and not strawberry.© Copyrights Kushma Thapa 2016 […]
Hollow Emotion Part 1
by Kushma Thapa on 9th February 2018 at 3:25 pm
I listen to love songs and cry. I cry because it feels so much. I cry because I start making stories on my head. I am writing story for someone else. Placing myself in the position of my character, I cry. I imagine. I have been living in my imaginations for so long. I have my own world. Coming into reality is just too depressing. I fear I can never feel the same way again. Without the fear of being judged, without the fear of being criticized or feeling stupid, I haven’t loved for a long time now. Sometimes I cry by the attention I get. Because they give me so much care and I give nothing in return. I have nothing to give. I am so empty. I have become so hollow. I was sitting and pondering why, when I have people in my life who shows they care, I cannot respond with similar emotion.© Copyrights Kushma Thapa 2016 […]
Give me a true smile
by Kushma Thapa on 29th December 2017 at 2:32 pm
You are a questionYou are a mysteryYou make me wonder Could I help you?Your eyes are liarsYou words are firesYou hurt my intentionsYou are a mysteryA burden on my chestA gulp on my throatYou deserve just so much moreYou are weird and that’s okBut mysteries I wanna solveWhy do you always sleep?So rude sometimes and so caring another dayIt’s so cold and you wear no coatLost them both, it’s not your faultWhy you laugh for no reasonAnd sleep all the timeDamien rice and hozier keeps playing on rhyme You are mystery Be a happy oneWeird is your presence Be a crazy one Playing alone the strings of guitarHeadphones are on your earPlease give me a true smileYour heart is pure, so be your smile© Copyrights Kushma Thapa 2016 […]
Veg Non veg
by Kushma Thapa on 16th December 2017 at 5:15 pm
This post is dedicated to my journey of vegetarianism. My journey of being a vegetarian was not a random decision of my life. It did not happen in a snap. And please note it in advance I am not here to judge anyone. My aunt has been a vegetarian since she was a little kid. It won’t be wrong to say My mama has been a vegetarian all his life. These two peoples although belonging to a newar family practiced vegetarianism and my grand mother had been supportive of this. My aunt chose to not eat meat for the sake of not consciously killing and eating a soul. My mama, he is such a sober man. His body does not agree with meat or alcohol.I have been around them. I used to be very close to my aunt. Hence, she definitely influenced my decision, not by telling me I should stop, but through her act of living a life of vegetarian.Secondly, I have lived my life around animals. We always had a dog at home. We had hens, we had rabbits. I think I learnt to empathise with them because I grew up being their friends , their big sister, sometimes even their small kiddo sister. I have known the pain of losing them.As a kid, I never realised what eating meat really was. The whole idea of killing an animal for the sake of our taste bud never struck me. as wrong or right. But as I started to grow, as I started to realise that “Actors in a movie don’t die for real. The same actor is seen in another movie not because it’s their second life. The moon is not following us. I wont die by chewing a gum. “, I also started to realise the reality of meat business. I came across the scenes as “dragging a goat for killing it, tying hens upside down on two sides of leg guards of a bike to sell them for meat” a lot many times, but slowly these things started affecting me. I was not a meat-holic ever, but I ate nevertheless. My tongue liked the taste of it. But, it started to get very hard to swallow my food with meat. I could not. I just could not. I remember very vividly the day I last ate meat knowingly and purposely. I couldn’t eat more than two spoons of rice. The whole image of slaughter and torture to animals played again and again. I cried. I cried so much. And from then and there I have not returned back. I hope I never have to return back. I hope I never fall so weak. This happened back in 2008. I am healthy. I am strong. I am not nutrient deprived. And I am so full of energy. Now almost 10 years from my amazing journey, I have learnt one more thing. Until few weeks back I had no idea how the milk comes from an animal. I had no idea how cows and buffalos give milk. I thought they are cows /buffalos and it just comes. I was so wrong and stupid. The dairy farm is such a mess too. But I’ll come back here later.Almost 10 years and there are hardly days where these whole “being a vegetarian” things does not come up. Honestly, I am so tired and so frustrated with all the nagging and pointing I get for this. Some call it fashion, some call it attention seeking, some call it “trying to look good, trying to be different”. And almost everyone tells me “Why do you eat plant?”.I know I post a lot about animals, about vegetarian way of life. Most of the times it’s only to let people know what is happening. Yes, I agree I get really sad during Dashain and make post to make people feel responsible. But mostly just so everyone knows what they are dealing with. I don’t tell people around “leave meat, why are you eating meat and bla bla”. It’s my decision to not eat meat just like it’s your decision to eat meat. I don’t support your way but I don’t hate you for eating it. I don’t think less of your for it ( except at few times when you behave so irrational). Few years back it was hard to find proper vegetarian food outside of Home. Now it’s become much better. I am not so good with eating healthy balanced diet. So it’s already a hard life for me. You nagging me all the time, pointing fingers at me all the time makes it more difficult. Your questions are stupid, your reasoning are stupid too. You calling me dumb makes you dumber. Don’t support me, it's okay but please don’t nag me. I remember, during my first year of vegetarianism, one of my best friend when we were out said “ agadi masu leraera rakhdyo vane sab khancha hola (I can bet she will devour the plate if we bring meat in front of her)” and they laughed at me. There was more but let’s not go there. “Anda khancha? Esto ni vegetarian?”I started eating eggs after I knew most of the commercially sold eggs are not fertilised. Although now I have kind of left it again for other reason. Anyways, what I am trying to say is: I am trying my best to live a life that does not harm animals. I can, ill do it. I can’t, I won’t give up but keep trying. But My non vegetarian friends wont understand this.I know since ages humans have relied on meat. That has been our evolution. But we are sentient beings. We have the power to give justice. The innocent animals that are reared, cannot speak up for themselves. Their shrieks and pleading are unheard. We can bring change in their life and give them the life they deserve. To talk about plant saving, in the meat business animals are fed more than they should be so they sale for more money. Those extra plant feeding if fed to world population will solve hunger problems across the world. This is according to a recent study. If you don’t believe me google it. If I am wrong educate me. Talking about life cycle. Let nature do that. We are destroying nature is so many ways and you are giving life cycle as a problem?And now I want to try as much as I can to adopt a life of a vegan. It’s difficult and I might not completely do it but I want to give it a try. Please don’t point fingers at me, don’t demotivate me. If you are worried about me look for alternatives instead. Don’t call me dumb. I am not. I am fully aware of my decision. I am sorry but it hurts me to see an animal being tied up in their neck and tail and transported a long way crumbled in a truck. If you feel pain making long travels even when you take business class plane tickets, can you imagine the pain of those innocent animals? I have seen them cry. To see their life after their truck, their future in a blink: "Death", how is that pleasing at all?. I am sorry but I am made this way. Just like you are made your way. It’s difficult for you to give meat up, that’s okay. That’s understandable. But it’s not difficult to educate yourself about the reality of meat business, the reality of dairy business. You don’t have to stop eating meat, but be aware and be “non non-supportive” on veganism or vegetarianism. Learn where you meat comes from, learn how fully animals enjoy living life like you do, learn how dairy products come from and ask yourself is there nothing you can do for them? Is there nothing you can do for them?Let’s make as small change as we can. It’s the ripple that brings a wave.If you disagree send me a message or leave a comment. Let us discuss this once and for all. © Copyrights Kushma Thapa 2016 […]